Performance anxiety, imposter syndrome, procrastination, and our inevitable resignation to the fact that everything is shit and so are we.
Some days at the work station are dark, icy and full of gloom...
You’d imagine that if you love something hard enough, put in the hours, the work; that you’d finally get the hang of it and feel like you belong? Self worth’s a funny thing.
I remember even as a kid, sometimes a blank piece of paper was so crippling to me that I’d momentarily forget how to draw. In those moments, all I wanted to do was make something worthy... something perfect that everyone would love. At a very young age, we start attaching our worth to how we perform at the things we are good at/people think we are good at. We work hard... we get better, but in our pursuit of perfection, we lose context... and the blocks, the burnouts, the toxic self-doubt begin to take a toll. In those moments, it helps me to suspend expectation, fear, judgement, and just remember to PLAY!
Besides, if I can't play in my own playground, where's the fun in that?